Least

PEROX-WHY? GEN

Did you know pigeons die after sex?

At least when I fucked it.

Cow

the big mom

a mom cows last words were to the mom cows son they were you are then died the son though that he was adopted but then 3 years later the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say you were adorable then she died once more then 2 years later she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son and that’s why we adopted you.

Wife

Stevo100

How did Stephen Hawking really die…his wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything

Fire

Inferno Elusive

What does fire and people have in common A: they will both eventually die out

Lost

Im Going to Hell

How did Stephen Hawking Die, He lost WiFi Connection.

Clown

big dog

my departed uncle was a circus clown before he died

so all his friends came in one car

Puns

MuaHaHajgditsostsotz

A cat gets its tail run over, and it’s mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”

The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”

Guess who dies next.

Girl

Anonymous

Three women- a blonde, a brunette and a redhead- are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two two hours later their vehicle dies with no gas and they’re forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them. The brunette brings canteens of water. The redhead takes a large beach umbrella. The Blonde somehow rips off the car door. The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?" To which the blonde replied, “So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot.”

Roast

Sexoffender

I wanna die

Difference

Unscrewedfish7

What’s the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?

Baby Jesus died a virgin

Time

DMack

So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.

“Wait a minute” I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen

Then it clicked. “Ah, so that’s how you died”

Depression

Death&Decay

Your mommas so depressed she shot herself in the head hoping she’d die

Battery

USSR Soldier

How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn’t charge his batteries

Girlfriend

Death&Decay

My girlfriend’s dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one. She went mad, “What am I going to do with two dead dogs?”

Teacher

Anonymous

Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy”

And then you die inside

People

Oliver the Comdian

Why do they have fences around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in.

Fire

Anonymous

Alicia was not a popular girl. None of the guys noticed her. Once she got a boyfriend, but then he cheated on her with Katy and said, "You’re not sexy enough, Katy is much hotter." So Alicia took a match, set herself on fire, and screamed, "THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!" And then she died.

Ex

Anonymous

It’s been a terrible day today my ex got hit by a bus and died. Not only this but the council cut my bus drivers permit

Computer

Anonymous

one day my ex best friend lied about his computer died when he left the call and watched youtube

Sister

Anonymous fun

A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that he just found out his sister was cheating on him.

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