How do we know Stephen is dying in hell

There’s a stairway to heaven.

What’s the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?

Baby Jesus died a virgin

How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn’t charge his batteries

Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy”

And then you die inside

Why do they have fences around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in.

you know what is the worst mistake every human being made?

answer: living

So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.

“Wait a minute” I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen

Then it clicked. “Ah, so that’s how you died”

A cat gets its tail run over, and it’s mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”

The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”

Guess who dies next.

Did you know pigeons die after sex?

At least when I fucked it.

What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?

“boy, could you put my phone on charging?”

A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that he just found out his sister was cheating on him.

Luigi was dying had two sons Bruno was handsome but Alberto was ugly He said Maria tell me is the is Alberto my son Yes Luigi his wife said and he died happily Wife said thank God he didn’t ask about the other one !!

Dad:im dying Son:hi dying, im [name] Dad:really, now is not the time Son:im sorry Dad:hi sorry im dad (dies)

Your mommas so depressed she shot herself in the head hoping she’d die

How did Stephen Hawking Die, He lost WiFi Connection.

What was the last thing that went through Aiden’s head befor he died?

His elbow.

My uncle died on nine eleven… he was the best piolot in iraq

Three women- a blonde, a brunette and a redhead- are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two two hours later their vehicle dies with no gas and they’re forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them. The brunette brings canteens of water. The redhead takes a large beach umbrella. The Blonde somehow rips off the car door. The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?" To which the blonde replied, “So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot.”

Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.

The greatest Doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack, and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,

“People need me for my excellent medicine!” and jumps out. The smart man grab one and shouts,

“People are in need of my great knowledge!” and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,

“You are to young. Take the final parachute and go.” The geek instead says,

“No, there are two parachutes left, the ‘smart’ one took my backpack.”

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