Michael Jackson was working on a cover of a popular Elton John song when he died... His version was to be called "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...
A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: do you know how often people die from AIDS?
I said: now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.
Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn’t close his casket.
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
What does fire and people have in common A: they will both eventually die out
Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?
I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me while he was dying.
It seemed really important to him that I have it.
The cemetery is so overcrowded. People are just dying to get in.
A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel and when all the sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says father what is that? He says this sister is the wand of life. The nun says good, now go stick it in that camels ass and let’s get the hell outa here!
How did stephen hawking die?
He rolled too far away from the outlet on the wall
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry
what did steven hawking say when he died
I'm logging out
What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common? They both died with red rings
An apple a day, or you'll die any way
My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell, she broke every bone in her body.
1 year later she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died
Everybody was kung flu dying It travelled as fast as lightning 2020 was expert timing In fact it was a little bit frightening
My grief counsellor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.