Die

Die Jokes

Michael Jackson was working on a cover of a popular Elton John song when he died... His version was to be called "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...

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A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: do you know how often people die from AIDS?

I said: now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.

Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?

They couldn’t close his casket.

Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?

Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...

I have an EpiPen.

My friend gave it to me while he was dying.

It seemed really important to him that I have it.

A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel and when all the sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says father what is that? He says this sister is the wand of life. The nun says good, now go stick it in that camels ass and let’s get the hell outa here!

My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell, she broke every bone in her body.

1 year later she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died