Daughter

Anonymous

Daughter: mommy what ever happened to Steven hawking? Mother: he died. Daughter: how did he die? Mother: he never got recharged.

1

Least

PEROX-WHY? GEN

Did you know pigeons die after sex?

At least when I fucked it.

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Time

Anonymous

Mary’s mother was a good person why did she die? -because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade

2

Sister

Naomi

I was at a funeral and told a joke and my sister said “I’m dead” so I said “that’s what she said.”

Friend

Anonymous

friends are like penguins if you stab them they die 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

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Bullying

Anonymous

Why did Steven Hawkins die?

Because he got a virus.

Bar

Apoc

So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, “After this last drink, I’m going to the roof to kill myself.” A guy sitting next to him says, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”, in which the man replies, “Oh yeah?” So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says “You’re not gonna die, watch this!” He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says “Cool, let me try!”, and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says “Superman, you’re an asshole.”

Baby

Anonymous

How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?

I don’t know, I can’t count while I masturbate…

Difference

Spartan

What does a phone and a grandma have incomen. They both die What’s the difference between them. If you shove something up your grandmas ass she wont come back to life

0
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Computer

Summit

What did Stephen hawkings computer say when he died ?? … ERROR

0

Log

Ellis

How did Steven hawking die? He forgot his log on password

Puns

Matt xD

"If all of these structures break we will all die." And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!" And he said, “It would be breaking news.”

Time

Anonymous

Me:Help I’m stuck in a trap Friend:What kind? Me:It’s called life, yeah I’ve been trying to get out of it for 6 years now, it just won’t let me go. Friend:That’s not funny… Me:Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I’m still over here laughing every time I try to. Friend:I’m calling your mom. Me:She knows. Friend:Whats she doing to help, then? Me:She’s supposed to help? Friend:Have you told your dad? Me:I will when he comes back. Friend:Where is he? Me:I don’t know he’s been gone for 15 years. Friend:… Me:What? Friend:Why? Me:Why what? Friend:Why would you joke like that? Me:I was joking… Friend:I know. Me:Oh. I didn’t know. Friend:… Me:Have a nice day, I’ll see you tomorrow…Maybe…

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Die

Another

🥎⚾️

Human

Raybid

you know what is the worst mistake every human being made?

answer: living

Wife

Anonymous

Please read all of it I know it’s long please read all of it.

This dad heard his daughter praying as she was praying she came to an end: " Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy. The dad didn’t think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died the dad thought it was just coincidence so he carried on his day. At night he heard his daughter again: “Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy. After he heard goodbye grandma his facial expression changed and went straight to bed. The next morning the grandma died out of nowhere the dad began to worry and continued on his day, at night he heard his daughter again " Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy. The dad got scared so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there so that’s what he did. When he got home the next day his wife asked where he had been and he replied back " Sorry honey I had a horrible day today.” She replied back saying: " OH YOU THINK YOU HAD A BAD THE MAILMAN JUST DIED ON THE FRONTPORCH THIS MORNING" If you get it you get it.

Windows

big steve

how did steven Hawkins die? he tried to update to windows 10 and his hard drive corrupted

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Difference

Anonymous

What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed

Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin

1

Son

D.K.

My son, who is into astronomy, asked my how stars die i said usually from a overdose

Truck

Anonymous

I called the suicide hotline at Iraq, the person got exited and asked if I can drive a truck.