MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.
DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.
MOM: No, you're not.
At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"
How did the orphan die?
Of sadness.
When I go to weddings old people will tell me I'm next but when I go to funerals I tell old people they're next.
these jokes make me want to die
where do suicide bombers go when they die? everywhere!
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His computer got a virus.
I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.
Your momma's so depressed, she shot herself in the head hoping she'd die.
A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing.
Man: "Ah, suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump?" Lady: "Yep. I hate this world." Man: "Well, if you're gonna die, can we have sex before you jump?" Lady: "Hell no! You creep!" Man: "Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore."
Why did Stephen hawking die? His wife forgot to plug his wheelchair into the wall
If you cut off your head, you can't breathe.
You also can't breathe if you die.
So why isn't it debreathiation?
Your grandma is pretty old; she'll die soon.
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
how did steven hawking die? he rolled away and his charger unplugged
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he got sucked up by the black hole then got sent to the large charger in the sky.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He didn't have enough room for any more RAM on his motherboard. I feel so bad for saying that!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His core i5 Overheated. XD
