Die jokes
Why did Queen Elizabeth the II die?
Because she ran out of immortali-tea.
Yes, the Queen has died today. Can the people of the world please finally tell Harry to stop cross-dressing as her?
Me: 911. You: You died 9/11.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His PC overheated.
When your cousin dies and everybody thinks you're her.
FUCKING MENT
When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.
If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS.
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
Whoever says a joke "is not a joke" should go commit bye die.
My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words... through the pillow.
"Daddy, what are those two things on mum’s chest?" asked Tom. "Those are just... balloons," said dad.
(Later)
"Dad! I think mum’s dying!" said Tom. "Why?" asked dad. "Because uncles are blowing her balloons, and she said, ‘Oh god, I'm cumming!’"
I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.
Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."
I feel bad for the people who died in 2001. Those poor terrorists died doing their job.
Why did Technoblade die?
'Cause he wanted to Skyblock in Heaven!
What's Technoblade's favorite show and is the only one he can relate to?
Peppa Pig: Peppa Dies!
How did Technoblade actually die?
He got stabbed!