Didnt jokes
You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.
I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.
All real chemists know that alcohol is always a solution.
I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.
My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.
I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.
I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
I asked a kid why he was so blue.
Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.
My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.
Why didn't the doctor help the orphan?
Because he was a family doctor!
My friend: Hey, I got 15 kills!
Me: I got 60 kills!
My friend: I didn't know you played Call of Duty!
Me: What's Call of Duty?
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Windows didn’t update in time.
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange who?
Orange glad I didn’t say banana. Hahaha, you’re right, I hate that guy!
Why did the orphan have an iPhone X? Because it didn't have the home button.
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣
Donald Trump didn't even finish the wall. He should have hired Mexicans to do it!
I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"
They didn't reply.
I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...