Didnt jokes
I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.
I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks.
I didn't want to interrupt her.
Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!
"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."
Love y'all so much!
My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.
Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?
He didn't give me any.
I was made by the Devil.
My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
Why didn't Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Because he rolled over to the other side!
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.
Why did the orphan live at school?
Because on the first day his parents didn’t pick him up.
My friend: Hey, I got 15 kills!
Me: I got 60 kills!
My friend: I didn't know you played Call of Duty!
Me: What's Call of Duty?
I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.
Tbh they really left me hanging there.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't.
I didn't ask: ❌
I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem that anyone needed this information, and there doesn't seem to be any chance anyone will need this information in the future. ✔️
Yo mama so ugly that on Halloween she didn't get candy.
Why didn't the boy want to read "2000 Leagues Under the Sea"?
It was too much pressure.
What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?
Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...
Why didn't anyone laugh at pizza jokes?
Because they were too cheesy!
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
Mrs. Kadie, I heard about this Mr. Beast video about veggie burgers. I hope that you didn't trick me again.
Mr. Beast: Today we're gonna be eating a hot tender burger.
Mrs. Kadie: OMG he didn't say vegan!
Viewers: HAHAHA we tricked you!
Mrs. Kadie: That's it Mr. Beast, we're gonna pour blood on your face!
Mr. Beast & Chandler: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!1!