Didnt jokes
A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.
Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?
Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.
Store owner: But still, why?
Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.
Store owner: Oh, I get it now!
My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.
Two drunk men spot a pig on some old farmer's land.
And they were real hungry (or so they said), and they both decided to take the pig with them into their car and eat it somewhere.
And so they did, and the farmer came out with a gun while they hurriedly drove off, and the farmer said, "Well goddammit, if it was a pig they wanted, why didn't they just take my wife?"
Once I was in South Korea doing stand up comedy... and I started with a "hidden" joke and I said: "I'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful Korea's in the world..." which is a good joke but they didn't get it, and they looked at me badly... so I said "I'm here in the South which is more beautiful... South good, North booooooo." But still nothing, they kept glaring at me... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea.
So you wanna play like that, ayy? Well, Sydney didn't wanna play like that either, and that's why you got arrested.
Why didn't Superman save the Twin Towers?
Because he's a quadriplegic.
Me playing a game........ What, did God just stop our hearts because he didn't kill everybody?
Your mom is so fat when she skipped a meal, the whole stock market crashed.
Your mom is so fat she tripped, and I didn’t even laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Saw that shit on Roblox.
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
Why didn't the skeleton want to make art anymore?
He didn't have the heart to put into it.
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Orange you glad I didn't say apple again?
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
It didn't have the guts to do it.
Last night I had the strangest dream!
I sailed away to China!
And I caught the coronavirus!
You said you needed to wash your hands!
Didn't want no one else to touch you! What does that mean?!
And you said!!
Ain't nothing gonna break my lungs 😤!
Ain't no way of slowing Covid down!
Oh no I've got to keep on coughing!!!
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread, waiting for a traffic jam.
Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show.
He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare.
Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept.
Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it.
Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he was sans and too lazy to get his butt off the couch.
Me playing a game...
What did God just stop? Are hearts cause we didn't kill each other.
Like if that was good.
Why did Brandon harass Sydney because she didn't want to eat his foreskin?