Didnt jokes

Why was the beach salty? Because the land didn't wave back. The ocean then called the land a beach.

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"

"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."

Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.

Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.

What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.

I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.

Grandma: calls You: Hello Grandma, what are you doing? Why, you can't mean I'm right in the house right now? Grandma: I didn't mean to call you, bye.

"I see, I see." "Oh, do you see?" "I see 1st place looking at me." "Hi, don’t be shy, just say hi." She was shy, she didn’t say hi. Softball cheers.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

because skeletons aren't alive and can't move, so it's impossible for him to cross the road.

You, I didn’t see you there. The pizza place is hunted bad, so you are scared 😱😱😱😱 and so you run and you see your grandma, and you were happy again forever and ever ha ha so funny 😁. The end or is it bye-bye?

A french fry was talking to a potato, but the potato didn't understand what he was saying.

It was because he didn't speak French.

I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.

About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."

I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."

Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

Sans: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

Papyrus: Because he looked like me.

Sans: Sure.

I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.

Why didn't the bitch ass skeleton fly?

'Cause me mum flew all the way and Trevor is a boofahead.

Why didn’t Steven Hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway, not a rampway.

I once went to the bar for a pint, but the strippers there didn't have that much breast milk.

My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.

What's the difference between cancer and me?

My dad didn't beat cancer... Whelp, I guess I stole that one.

Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?