Dick jokes

If you're gay, then what the f*** are you doing trying to walk straight?

10 dicks up your mom's ass!

Why did the guy take a bath? Because he came, and it was too much of a mess.

Q. What do Kenny's dick and this joke have in common?

A. They're both really short.

You're an apple. Now suck my dick!

I'm hard right now.

'Cause you're a DICKstraction. ;)

What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.

Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉

McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.

My name is Justin. I like dick. Lit? Let me eat you out like?

My name is Big Dick.

I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."

An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.

The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.

Linda and Peter are having sex. Peter goes in and out hard then fast and then begins to taste her tits. Finally, he moves down to the vagina and eats her hard. His rouge is inside her body, lolling around. He fucks her hard again and his dick slicks up her vagina. The entire time she is moaning and begging for more.

When Linda cums on his penis she begins to lick his balls hard. Peter begins moaning too saying, "Linda, you're just as amazing at fucking as your sister."

China servers are up on Fortnite, yeah, check by there.

"China getting this dick in your mouth 😂"

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick.

Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!

Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!

I have a trans friend.

He is in a polyamorous relationship and would be straight if they had a dick.

What do you call my dick?

A. A monster.

Two people about to have sex realize they have no lube.

In their desperate, horny haste, they looked for the nearest "Downy" and asked it, "Speak into my hand."

Upon their return to the bed, they regretted it immediately because his dick just stayed down...