Destination jokes
When my dad once went to the Virgin Islands, now it's just called the Islands.
Whoever made WorstJokesEver is going to hell.
Why did the terrorist cross the road?
To get to the airport!
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?
Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."
Where does a pencil go to vacation? Pennsylvania.
Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours.
Where do orphans shop for home appliances?
The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."
Where do sick boats go? The dock!
A FedEx plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa, but the cargo door wasn't shut properly, and only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane?
Time's up! You took too long; you only had 4 seconds to answer it.
How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door?
Open the fridge, put the elephant in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators.
How did she survive?
Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off, but she was rescued 8 minutes later.
Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of working girls. Call girls. Hookers. Prostitutes. And the association is a long one, going back to the very earliest legends which place St. Nick as a Greek bishop in Myra, Lycia in what is now the Turkish Mediterranean - three centuries after Christ.
Saint Nicholas is notable primarily for giving secretly to the poor, and supposedly the first to benefit were three young ladies whose poor father couldn't afford wedding or dowry to marry them off - destining them instead to a life of prostitution. St. Nick supposedly threw a bag of gold through the window to pay for the wedding but, by the third attempt, the poor father was watching to determine the identity of the anonymous benefactor. Santa outsmarted him by dropping the last bag of coins down the chimney.
So, whenever you see Santa, he always travels with his three favourite sex workers - who seemingly never grow old. On a quiet, still Christmas night you can even hear him call them.
Ho! Ho! Ho! And to all a good night.
Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
When you are going back to where you live from a place that is a time zone behind where you live:
"Looks like I am going back to the future!"
Community talk
miami, here I come
The Ferrari F40 (Type F120) is a mid-engine, rear-wheel drive sports car engineered by Nicola Materazzi with styling by Pininfarina. It was built from 1987 until 1992, with the LM and GTE race car versions continuing production until 1994 and 1996 respectively. As the successor to the 288 GTO (also engineered by Materazzi), it was designed to celebrate Ferrari's 40th anniversary and was the last Ferrari automobile pe… Read more
If you forget me Poem: I want you to know one thing.
You know how this is: if I look at the crystal moon, at the red branch of the slow autumn at my window, if I touch near the fire the impalpable ash or the wrinkled body of the log, everything carries me to you, as if everything that exists, aromas, light, metals, were little boats that sail toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well, now, if little by lit… Read more