Depression jokes
You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
I know what I want to be for Halloween! A pumpkin! I'm very good at carving into myself, after all.
I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.
Depressed people are lame because they are just lame, no reason.
People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
I'm starting to wish my grass was emo.
Why?
So it would cut itself.
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
like if you know someone that is emo.
What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?
Showing them the ropes.
What's the worst thing about committing suicide? You can only do it once.
What's the only regret you would have when you eventually kill yourself? It wasn't sooner.
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.
What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree?
It left him hanging.
Roses are red, life has no meaning, voices in my head, are constantly screaming.
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
The apple, because the emo kid got caught by the rope.
What's the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they're both too short.
These jokes cheered me up from suicide. This is amazing material. God bless all of you.
what is less than 0?
my will to live.