Depression jokes

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I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!

What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.

Why did the math book kill itself?

It had too many problems.

I went to a depressed person and said, "Do you wanna hang with me?"

How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?

"No, you hang yourself first..."

A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.

How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.

I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"

I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

GTA 6

A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"

The bartender replied: "A shotgun."

Why did the emo kid hate the tree?

It left him hanging.

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.

To those who are dead now, was it fun?

Don’t suicide! Please don’t, it’s horrible, and you will hurt so many people that love you.

That’s why no one will be hurt.

Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"

Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."

Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.

What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?

"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"

I was going to make a depressing joke, but my parents already did.