Depression jokes
What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
Kill yourself!
Whoever invented religions, they fucked up.
We got all kinds of retarded adults believing in mythologies.
Your PP is small, just like my will to live.
What is depressed and gay? Me.
I wish my dog was depressed so she can cut her own nails.
Do not roast. *sigh in depression*
Okay, who the heck is watersharky? He just tries to "help" people, and he just posts stupid songs because he acts like he is depressed.
You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.
I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
I know what I want to be for Halloween! A pumpkin! I'm very good at carving into myself, after all.
Depressed people are lame because they are just lame, no reason.
People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
I'm starting to wish my grass was emo.
Why?
So it would cut itself.
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.