Depression jokes

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I'm bored. Someone wanna chat?

Why was JFK stupid? He only had half a brain.

Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.

I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.

Lemme just say one thing:

Depression is not funny. Two of my best friends have it, and it's actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. It's really not funny to joke about depression.

Okay so not a joke but like- There's a fucking noose in my school gym.

What do depressed people do when they’re bored?

They “Hang” Out.

You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)

I wish I was at a Western bar; then I would get shot.

My depression is depressed.

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"

And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."

I fucking love rhubarbs.

Q. What's the biggest cause of infant drownings? A. Postpartum depression.

"kys" (keep yourself safe).

Depression jokes are like food... not every people get it.

(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?

What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?

They're both hanging from a tree.