Depression jokes
I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."
Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
Me: *writes Kahoot about me then finishes.*
Me and friend: *plays Kahoot.*
A question: When is (my name) happy?
Friend: *puts a good answer and gets wrong.*
Answer: Never, only a portion.
Friend: Do you need help?
If your name is Caleb or Connor, you have a problem.
So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.
The tree left him hanging though.
What is depressing, alone, chronic, and messed up? Me.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
Do not roast. *sigh in depression*
I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!
There are painkillers, but they only relieve physical pain. I wish something could relieve my internal pain.
I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"
I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"
Who can jump the highest? Depressed asses, some say they’re still in the air.
DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:
* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck
Me: "WYD?"
Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."
Me: "Without me? Lol"
My depression is depressed.
Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)