Depression jokes

Girl: Dad, where are you?

Dad: I went to go get milk.

Girl: But we have milk.

Dad: I know, I just don't love you.

What do you call a failure in another language?

Me.

Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.

What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.

Are you a razor? 'Cause you make me red.

I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.

So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.

*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"

*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*

Andrew Tate.

Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?

How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?

"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"

Hi, I'm Depraashin.

Hi, I'm rope. May I hang with you guys?

An emo tried to high-five a tree.

It left him hanging.

Whoever invented religions, they fucked up.

We got all kinds of retarded adults believing in mythologies.

An emo and a leaf fall out of a tree. Which hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh, you wanna die? I wanna die too!

I keep hearing "Obesity kills."

My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"

Girl: "...I like you... do you like me back?"

Me: "Nope."

Girl: *is depressed* "Oh okay...."

Me: "You never said \"love\"".

Girl: "Oh! well do you love me?"

Me: "Frick no."

Cemeteries are so popular! People are, like... dying to get there.

My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.

This isn't really a joke, but I HAVE PTSD, YAY! :)