Depression Jokes

For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.

how many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression

What is the similarity between depressed people and hoodies? the color black

Girl: .... I like you... do you like me back? Me: Nope Girl: *is depressed* oh okay.... Me: u never said "love" Girl: oh! well do you love me? Me: frick no.

my battery lasted longer than your sad depressing life

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Me: Hey, mom? Why do we celebrate birthdays?

Mom: Because that's the day a new life was born, and people are born every day so every day is a special day.

My thoughts: And my friend wonders why I have depression...

My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.

What do depressed people do when they’re bored? They “Hang” Out

kys (keep yourself safe)

What do u call Kyson when he is banned on PS4? A depressed Indian boy

I never feel offended if my friends doesn't wish my birthday

Because that's what i want

Who can jump the highest? Depressed asses some say they’re still in the air

are you a highway because i wanna lay on you

hello, this is Godlygirl26. i want to help people with their problems no matter what. there is nothing that god cannot do. i want yall to know that God is with you. not any of those stone or wood "gods" but a true , loving,, powerful God. dm this right here and i will answer. hope i can help you! Love , Godlygirl26

heyos i just wanna say thanks to gwen on here she writes jokes and she got me thru a lot xx

(on thirteenth birthday) Girl: Ma, why did papa leave? Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.

If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.

I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn...

If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.

I’m like the sun; I’m painful to look at.

If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.

I’m like an eggshell... broken and empty.

If I was a mythical creature I’d be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.

I’m like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.

My soul is a raisin because it’s dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.

I’m like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.

I’m like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.

I’m like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.

I’m like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.

I’m like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.

My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can’t afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety

Help me...