Depression jokes
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.
What do you (anyone) and a joke not have in common?
Jokes have meanings.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!
Me: My therapist says I need those to live.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_
Wow, he stole my antidepressant toy. The next day, he was on the ground.
What do depressed people do when they’re bored?
They “Hang” Out.
Okay, who the heck is watersharky? He just tries to "help" people, and he just posts stupid songs because he acts like he is depressed.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
Run, bestie, run!
What's overcrowded and uncomfortable?
My mind.
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.
How do you get a depressed person to jump?
Put them on a bridge.
Worried I am dead.
I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
What do you call a depressed person's life?
At this point, nonexistent.
Let's have toast in the bath.
My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.
I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.
The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.