Depression jokes
Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?
I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.
A depressed guy walks into a utensil store and finds a knife, but he didn't stab himself... Part 2 coming out tomorrow.
Girl: "...I like you... do you like me back?"
Me: "Nope."
Girl: *is depressed* "Oh okay...."
Me: "You never said \"love\"".
Girl: "Oh! well do you love me?"
Me: "Frick no."
I went to a depressed person and said, "Do you wanna hang with me?"
I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
What do us emos all have in common?
Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."
Are you a razor? 'Cause you make me red.
For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.
How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?
What is the similarity between depressed people and hoodies?
The color black.
At 6, she wanted a happy mama.
At 8, she hated acting like a mom.
At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.
At 11, she wanted to see her mom.
What's an emo's favorite type of necklace? The kind that attaches to a ceiling beam.
My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.
What do you call Kyson when he is banned on PS4?
A depressed Indian boy.
Me: Hey, Mom? Why do we celebrate birthdays?
Mom: Because that's the day a new life was born, and people are born every day so every day is a special day.
My thoughts: And my friend wonders why I have depression...
Where do depressed people go to eat?
Suicide Sonic.
I'm gonna open up a bar for emos.
I think I'll call it "The Cutting Board."
My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.