Depression jokes
How do you make the grass cut itself?
Make it depressed.
I keep hearing "Obesity kills."
My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"
Are you going to jump? Can I jump with you?
Friend: Hi!
Me: Who are you?
Friend: ...your friend?
Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.
Friend 1: Did you?
Depressed friend 2: I didn't!
Friend one: Swear on your life!
Depressed friend 2: I swear.
A week later friend 2 dropped dead to their utter delight.
Just buy emo grass, then you will never have to mow your lawn again.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don't even care!
I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.
Ethan Fennel
The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.
Me: Y’all should start calling me 1943.
Friend: Why?
Me: 'Cause I’m going through my own Great Depression.
My teacher called me beautiful. I hate when she lies.
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.
Your life can't be a joke; a joke has meaning.
At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.
Two friends fighting.
Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"
Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."
Wanna come hang out with me?
Why are Nepalese bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their king!
What fell first, the feather or the depressed kid?
Q: The feather, the depressed kid is still up there.
Run, bestie, run!