Depression jokes
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.
Roses are red, Violets are blue.
Run, bestie, run!
A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"
What fell first, the feather or the depressed kid?
Q: The feather, the depressed kid is still up there.
Your life can't be a joke; a joke has meaning.
At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.
My depression is depressed.
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don't even care!
Me: Y’all should start calling me 1943.
Friend: Why?
Me: 'Cause I’m going through my own Great Depression.
Friend 1: Did you?
Depressed friend 2: I didn't!
Friend one: Swear on your life!
Depressed friend 2: I swear.
A week later friend 2 dropped dead to their utter delight.
My teacher called me beautiful. I hate when she lies.
What do you do when you finish a magazine in school?
Answer: You shoot it!
Where did Holly go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Why are Nepalese bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their king!
Wanna come hang out with me?
I'm bored. Someone wanna chat?
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.
*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"
*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*