Depression jokes

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.

I laughed when I realized that my suicide letter is way longer than my sibling's college essay.

I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"

I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"

what happens when the president turns emo?

the great depression.

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)

I hate life, and I'm gay.

What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.

To those who are dead now, was it fun?

Me: *writes Kahoot about me then finishes.*

Me and friend: *plays Kahoot.*

A question: When is (my name) happy?

Friend: *puts a good answer and gets wrong.*

Answer: Never, only a portion.

Friend: Do you need help?

How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.

With great depression comes great antidepressants.

Who's the world's fastest readers?

9/11 victims.

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"

And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."

Only if onions were emo, they'd cut themselves.

I hate people that hate life.

Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.

*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe

Guys, depression cannot be turned into a joke.

I hope ya'll that have depression kys; you are worthless trash.

Just kidding.

My mom loved taking pics of me when I was a child. Thanks to that, people really believe my fake smiles! :3

I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

– Rodney Dangerfield

My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.