I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨
Depression Jokes
Cemeteries are so popular! People are, like... dying to get there.
Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.
Why did the math book kill itself?
It had too many problems.
What's the difference between depression and a girl?
XXXTentacion can't seem to beat depression.
I wake up in the morning and I suck my teeth.
"I’m sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
How do you lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.
What did the talking rope say to the man?
"Just hang in there."
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
That one depressed friend.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't get home.
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
Guys, depression cannot be turned into a joke.
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
I got a toaster for my birthday and said, "Yay, new bath bomb!"
The belt broke.
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
