Depression jokes
I suffered The Great Depression.
I'm in the year 1930...
The Great Depression.
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?
De-presso.
(demons in my head) I laugh to meet them...
Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.
I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.
what happens when the president turns emo?
the great depression.
Why did the math book kill itself?
It had too many problems.
Part 2: He walks up to a stake and nails himself there. Then he finds the knife and says to someone to find a cake to celebrate his death, but everybody came. That was the sign that nobody loved him, and that's how you know if people love you.
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
"kys" (keep yourself safe).
I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.
I cummed on the alley.
Imagine being depressed. Couldn’t be me.
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
Sometimes my battery life has the same recognition as me :(
Why do we even live? We're just gonna die anyway, so what's the point?
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?
A DEPPression.
(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).