Depression Jokes

Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-" me: power button

i once called a depressed guy why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone (im not englishs so i could've talked bad)

I was sad, so i called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.

What do gay people get for Christmas?

discrimination

So there's Fred and Frank, now they've been 2 friends for years, but Fred see he's depressed. Badly. Either way, so F+F are texting each other and here's how is goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge to harshly)

Frank: Yo Fred: hi... Frank: u heard about de competition? Fred: yeah.... Frank: You wanna hang out? Fred: ....... Frank: what? I've got some noose (news) for you Fred: ... I( Frank: fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan tho. We don't wanna be hanging on the end. Fred: *sigh* you know....you really can't rope me into this competition.

Hey guys how was ur day? If you ask me the same question heres the answer, depressing. I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old, D.K, freshfry, ALYA's "Jokes" or opinions.

I went to self-checkout at a store and i scanned my products. But the scanner wouldn ́t scan the barcode on my arm.

Whats overcrowded and uncomfortable?

My mind

Man: *steals drink Boy: bro😭😭 Man:why are u crying over a drink? Boy:that had dugs Man:....

what's something a depressed person can do that a regular person cant ? the depressed person can scan them self

What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.

Are you my fish because your supposed to be dead

my mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge would you me: No Attack on titan music starts playing in my head

A father bought his depressed son a new house and then pointing at it he said "hang in there son".

A kid went and cot a hair cut, the day after he went to school, and a friend says " I like your cut", and he replies "which one?"

I saw a tree I looked up and there was an apple hanging And then I said wow that guy is lucky

I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid hoping it would brighten up his day

what do you call a depressed person's life

at this point, non-existent

When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romnticising their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.. Then you know they're faking depression🙂

If you know it, you know it