Depression jokes

Run, bestie, run!

I'm bored. Someone wanna chat?

You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.

How do you make the grass cut itself?

Make it depressed.

What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?

They both hang by something.

I fucking love rhubarbs.

Me: The light wow brighter than my future.

What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.

What's the most emo name?

Carter.

Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?

Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.

Why did the orphan die?

He killed himself because the lack of a support system made him depressed.

A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.

Worried I am dead.

I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.

A depressed guy walks into a utensil store and finds a knife, but he didn't stab himself... Part 2 coming out tomorrow.

I'm gonna open up a bar for emos.

I think I'll call it "The Cutting Board."

I went to a depressed person and said, "Do you wanna hang with me?"

I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.

You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.

Girl: "...I like you... do you like me back?"

Me: "Nope."

Girl: *is depressed* "Oh okay...."

Me: "You never said \"love\"".

Girl: "Oh! well do you love me?"

Me: "Frick no."