Depression jokes
A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"
Roses are red, Violets are blue.
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.
*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"
*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*
Where did Holly go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
What do you do when you finish a magazine in school?
Answer: You shoot it!
You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.
I'm bored. Someone wanna chat?
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
My depression is depressed.
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
I fucking love rhubarbs.
Me: The light wow brighter than my future.
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
Why did the orphan die?
He killed himself because the lack of a support system made him depressed.
What's the most emo name?
Carter.
Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?
Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
Worried I am dead.