Depression jokes

I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.

You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.

How do you make the grass cut itself?

Make it depressed.

Friend: Hi!

Me: Who are you?

Friend: ...your friend?

Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.

What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.

What's the most emo name?

Carter.

Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?

Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.

Why did the orphan die?

He killed himself because the lack of a support system made him depressed.

Me: The light wow brighter than my future.

I fucking love rhubarbs.

A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.

Worried I am dead.

What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?

They both hang by something.

I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.

A depressed guy walks into a utensil store and finds a knife, but he didn't stab himself... Part 2 coming out tomorrow.

I went to a depressed person and said, "Do you wanna hang with me?"

I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.

You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.

I'm gonna open up a bar for emos.

I think I'll call it "The Cutting Board."

Girl: "...I like you... do you like me back?"

Me: "Nope."

Girl: *is depressed* "Oh okay...."

Me: "You never said \"love\"".

Girl: "Oh! well do you love me?"

Me: "Frick no."