Depression jokes
I'm bored. Someone wanna chat?
What do you do when you finish a magazine in school?
Answer: You shoot it!
You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
I keep hearing "Obesity kills."
My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"
Friend: Hi!
Me: Who are you?
Friend: ...your friend?
Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.
Are you going to jump? Can I jump with you?
My depression is depressed.
How do you make the grass cut itself?
Make it depressed.
My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
I fucking love rhubarbs.
Me: The light wow brighter than my future.
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
Why did the orphan die?
He killed himself because the lack of a support system made him depressed.
What's the most emo name?
Carter.
Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?
Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
Worried I am dead.