Depression jokes

What fell first, the feather or the depressed kid?

Q: The feather, the depressed kid is still up there.

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

Hey you, the person who's scrolling, I know you might have depression and some feel they can't talk to anyone about it, so in the comments please, if you need to talk to others, if you comment about it and say you need to talk to someone, I promise you that I will talk to you. You are not alone, and even though it seems it won't change and get better, it will, I promise.

Please no harsh comments toward each other.

I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...

Scan my wrist for 75% off!

I wake up in the morning and I suck my teeth.

When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.

Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't get home.

My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.

At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"

When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.

Why did the depressed kid cross the road?

To get hit by a car.

I tried to high-five a tree. It left me hanging.

I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”

And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.

I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.

Your PP is small, just like my will to live.

I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression...

Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.

Worried I am dead.

Sometimes my battery life has the same recognition as me :(

Okay, who the heck is watersharky? He just tries to "help" people, and he just posts stupid songs because he acts like he is depressed.