Depression jokes
I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.
Tbh they really left me hanging there.
I'M SOOOO SAD. (I have depression btw)
what is less than 0?
my will to live.
I'm so depressed, I gave my therapist trauma.
What do you call a depressed tree?
A wood cutter.
What is the difference between me and a fire?
It's hot.
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
Are you going to jump? Can I jump with you?
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
Yo mama so fat and old, she is the reason the Great Depression happened.
What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.
Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."
Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
What did the talking rope say to the man?
"Just hang in there."
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
I don't struggle with depression, I'm used to it.