Depression jokes
Friend: Hi!
Me: Who are you?
Friend: ...your friend?
Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.
Nobody: Aww, that's so sad!
Me: Just like me.
I was going to make a depressing joke, but my parents already did.
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
Keep yourself safe!
Kentucky yacht services (kys.com)
"kys" (keep yourself safe).
What did the tree say to the depressed kid?
"Stop hanging around."
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.
What does the F in orphan stand for?
FAMILY 😭😭
*IT'S DEPRESSING THIS PAGE EXISTS*
what's flat and great for cutting? me.
I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.
“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless.”
I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.
Found out I’m worth $3.97.
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else…
Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.
I said, "a smile."
They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.
My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.
Going to school is mandatory in this country.
Can you guess my plan?
What did one depressed kid say to the other?
Hey, wanna hang together?
I made a 3D game about a depressed, self-harming goth. It's mostly unskippable cutscenes.
Yo Mama is so stupid, she thought the football team Rams were actually the animal rams.