What is the difference between me and a fire?
It's hot.
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
Are you going to jump? can I jump with you
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
Yo mama so fat and old, she is the reason the Great Depression happened.
What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.
Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."
Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
What did the talking rope say to the man?
"Just hang in there."
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
I don't struggle with depression, I'm used to it.
You look sexy with that rope around your neck.
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.
I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.
I'm in the year 1930...
The Great Depression.
