Depression jokes

Yo Mama is so stupid, she thought the football team Rams were actually the animal rams.

I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.

what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.

I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression...

Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.

White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?

Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!

I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..\n\nI now suffer from anxiety AND depression :\

My doctor prescribed a new drug to treat my depression.

It’s called Enditol.

A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her.

"Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.

"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."

The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."

The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fulfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"

"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.

"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"

I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.

Tbh they really left me hanging there.

I'M SOOOO SAD. (I have depression btw)

what is less than 0?

my will to live.

I'm so depressed, I gave my therapist trauma.

What do you call a depressed tree?

A wood cutter.

What is the difference between me and a fire?

It's hot.

What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?

For me, life.

Are you going to jump? Can I jump with you?

Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)

Yo mama so fat and old, she is the reason the Great Depression happened.

What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.

Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.