Depression jokes

When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.

So they can let me down one last time.

I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.

I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.

I'm in the year 1930...

The Great Depression.

MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.

Why drink water and not bleach?

If I die, does my depression die with me?

What is depressing, alone, chronic, and messed up? Me.

Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.

My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"

My depression is depressed.

Don't ever tell somebody depressed to try again.

Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.

Imagine being depressed. Couldn’t be me.

What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?

Hang in there!

How do you get a depressed person to jump?

Put them on a bridge.

They tried to make me laugh, but I was already DYING.

Tiktoker: I will kill anyone who pours milk before cereal.

Depressed kid tiktok reply: *pours milk before cereal, pours cereal then takes a bite* I'll wait.

My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.

Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't get home.