Depression jokes
You look sexy with that rope around your neck.
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.
I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.
I'm in the year 1930...
The Great Depression.
MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.
Why drink water and not bleach?
If I die, does my depression die with me?
What is depressing, alone, chronic, and messed up? Me.
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"
My depression is depressed.
Don't ever tell somebody depressed to try again.
Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
Imagine being depressed. Couldn’t be me.
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
How do you get a depressed person to jump?
Put them on a bridge.
They tried to make me laugh, but I was already DYING.
Tiktoker: I will kill anyone who pours milk before cereal.
Depressed kid tiktok reply: *pours milk before cereal, pours cereal then takes a bite* I'll wait.
My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.