Depression jokes
They tried to make me laugh, but I was already DYING.
Tiktoker: I will kill anyone who pours milk before cereal.
Depressed kid tiktok reply: *pours milk before cereal, pours cereal then takes a bite* I'll wait.
My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't get home.
That one depressed friend.
A donut is not empty inside, that was a hole in the middle. If I'm a donut, the hole used to be where I put my feeling and happiness, but people snatch it away from me.
Anyway, can someone put a hole in my physical body too? I kinda wanted to see people cry for me just like how people cry for Ace from One Piece.
It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.
Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.
Wait, actually.
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.
Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
Dentist: Open up, sir.
Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.
Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.
Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.
Dentist: Do you need help??
Me: Yep.
Dentist: ...
Me: ....
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
I threw a lamp at the depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.
Are you my depression, because I’m falling for you?
What do emos like to do when they're sad?
They play violin on their wrists.
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)