How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?
It’s all Depends!
Dependent Jokes
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
How many babies does it take to paint wheels red?
It depends on your speed.
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."
"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.
"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."
The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"
The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.
Recent attempts to defund Special Olympics have organizers scrambling to come up with more corporate sponsorship... targeted companies include:
Kleenex
Depends
Bicycle Helmet manufacturers
Velcro Shoe manufacturers
Steven Hawkings Publishers
Q: How many dogs does it take to shingle a roof? A: It depends on how you cut 'em.
There’s nothing funny about orphans, right?
Well, I guess that depends on your sense of humor.
Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?
I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.
Which is redder: a baby or a red car? It depends on how the baby was killed!
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?
A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.
Woman: Will you love me after marriage as well?
Man: That will depend on your husband. If he will, so of course I would!
How many dead babies does it take to paint my room?
It depends how many bullets you have.
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.
I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.
Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Depends on how high your ceiling is.
