Dependent jokes
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Woman: Will you love me after marriage as well?
Man: That will depend on your husband. If he will, so of course I would!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
There’s nothing funny about orphans, right?
Well, I guess that depends on your sense of humor.
VAPING IS ALSO BAD
Recent attempts to defund Special Olympics have organizers scrambling to come up with more corporate sponsorship... targeted companies include:
Kleenex
Depends
Bicycle Helmet manufacturers
Velcro Shoe manufacturers
Steven Hawkings Publishers
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
I don't fuck my mother all day long. I fuck my mother for only 6 hours a day. Sometimes it's 7-8 hours. It depends on how busy my siblings and father are with their work.
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
Q: How many aborted babies does it take to paint a house?
A: Depends on how hard you throw them.
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
Why did the pen stop writing?
'Cause the pen wasn't very dependable.
Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.
I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.
Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?
Depends on who's sucking.
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?
A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.
There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.