At school, bobby boy's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "why are you crying". Bobby says "someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die". His mom looks him straight in the eye and says "depends, which one are you referring to?"
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them-hope marie lawson
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemmetary has.
My grandpa told me I was too dependent on devices. I told him he was a hypocrite and unplugged him from his life support.
How many babies do you need to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!
Three men are outside Heaven's gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them "Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven".
The first guy says "I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times". The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says "11 years and only once" and is granted a Mercedes.
The last man says "20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart" and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse".
The guy looks up and says "How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard"
Why did the pen stop writing? CAUSE THE PEN WASNT VERY DEPENDABLE
I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it....
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?
Depends...
what's better? nailing jesus or getting nailed? depends on who's sucking.
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends
How man babies does it take to paint a house, depends how hard you throw them
How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?
It’s all Depends!
How many alter boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests have basement
How many babys does it take to paint wheels red?
It depends on your speed.
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks "How long am I going to live?" The doctor says "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says"10" The man asks "Ten what?" Then the doctor keeps going"6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1"
There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.
