Wife

Artemas

Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”.

The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times”. The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says “11 years and only once” and is granted a Mercedes.

The last man says “20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart” and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse".

The guy looks up and says “How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard”

Difference

Anonymous

what’s the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid

Depends who’s shooting

5

Baby

yes i am suicidal

Q. How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?

A. Depends how thin you slice them.

1

Paint

Anonymous

How many children does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw.

Baby

Dre Cuellar

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them-hope marie lawson

0

Orphan

Anonymous

How many orphans does it take to “test drive” a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemmetary has.

Paint

KIDSPALACE

How many kids does it take to paint a wall ?

Depends on how hard u throw them 😂😂😂😂

Baby

Anonymous

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

0

Doctor

Isaac O.

A man has a terminal illness and isn’t sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks "How long am I going to live?" The doctor says “Depends, what time is it?” The doctor then looks at his watch and says"10" The man asks "Ten what?“ Then the doctor keeps going"6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1”

Baby

Anonymous

How many babies does it take to paint a barn?

Depends on how hard you throw them

Baby

EJ Perez-Garcia

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

What’s so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.

Depression

T.M.

At school, bobby boy’s classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with “why are you crying”. Bobby says “someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die”. His mom looks him straight in the eye and says “depends, which one are you referring to?”

Puns

Anonymous

Why did the pen stop writing? CAUSE THE PEN WASNT VERY DEPENDABLE

Baby

Anonymous

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

Baby

Anonymous

How many babys does it take to paint wheels red?

It depends on your speed.

Baby

Anonymous

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well it depends how hard you can throw.

Baby

Anonymous

How many babies does it take to paint a wall. Well it depends on how hard you throw them

Sadness

Anonymous

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on how hard you through them. 😈😈

Fall

Le SMer

If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size

Baby

Rata

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.