Definition jokes

When you want to commit suicide, just say "Allahu Akbar," there will definitely be a blast.

What does "bitch" mean?

Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"

What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.

What is the definition of Endless Love?

Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis!

So one time I was looking up the definition of "accident" because I was a little dumbo and didn’t know what it meant. Then my sister walks up behind me and points at the word and says, “That’s you!” (meaning that I was an accident).

A few minutes later, we had a big family meeting and my dad said to my sister, “Sweetie, you were an accident. We didn’t mean to make you, but we still love you with everything we’ve got.”

My sister never talked to me again and left the house. She was 17 when she left. Seriously, 17-year-olds just never mature, huh?

What is the definition of a woman?

A life support system for a vagina.

Fletcher is not a lesbian. He is also not an Asian. He is also definitely not an accident.

What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man?

Bisexual.

A homey thing is a house, and a sticky thing is a stick.

What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?

One of them knows the definition of no.

What's the definition of rude?

Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.

What is the giant's synonyms?

Fi, fo, fum.

A class is being taught when Bill Clinton walks in. He asks the class, "What is a tragedy?"

One kid, named Jim, raises his hand and says, "If my family and I got ran over by a truck, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies, "That would be an accident, not a tragedy."

A couple of seconds later, Audrey raises her hand and says, "If a school shooting would happen and 10 kids died, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies once again with: "That would be a great loss, not a tragedy." All of the kids are confused now when all of a sudden Matthew says, "If you and Hillary Clinton were on an airplane and it got blown up, that would be a tragedy!"

"Yes!" Says Bill Clinton "How do you know?" Matthew says happily, "It is definitely not an accident, and certainly not a great loss!"

Is buttcheeks one word?

Or should I spread them?

Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."

Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."

Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."

Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."

Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*

What do you call a dictionary on drugs?

High definition or addictionary.

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.

What’s the definition of a pedophile, Tyler?

I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.

He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.

What's the definition of disappointment?

Running into a wall with a boner, but it only hits your nose.