What is a gay person’s favorite book?
The dictionary.
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
How many dead hooker's does it take to change a light bulb? Definitely not 13, because my basement is still dark
What does the "W" stand for in africa?
Water
I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.
They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!
It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!
Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".
I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.
Did you know the F in Orphan stands for family?
I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.
My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"
So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."
Did you know that the "f" in "orphans" means family?
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!
Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!
Morbius is definitely one of the movies ever made. One of the movies of all time.
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.
Your mom is so fat, when she asked, "What gift will I get?" Abuela from Encanto said, "Definitely Taco Bell!" 🌮🔔
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.
"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"
Sally: "You..."
Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"
Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."
Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"
Johnny: "A pig."
Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "
Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"
The extra detention didn't do much, but the extra chromosome definitely did.
I look at your bro.
And all I can see is the real definition of *"Lack of Grace!"*
If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
If at first, you don’t succeed... then skydiving definitely isn’t for you
