Deep

Deep jokes

Self Harm

When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.

Kelly Clarkson

Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".

(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)

Depth

I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep.

Fruit Ninja

I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:

The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"

Mafia

What do the mafia and pussies have in common?

One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.

Self Harm

Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.

Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.

Heart

My heart says to stop because it hurts.

Bro, chill. It's really not that deep.

Friend

So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?

Mama

Yo mama so stupid, when I said, "Go deep," she dug a hole in the field.

Suicide

My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."

Step

How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:

1. Sell Casemeiro ๐Ÿค‘ 2. Sell Pernandes ๐Ÿค‘ 3. Sell Bencho ๐Ÿค‘ 4. Sell Trashford ๐Ÿค‘ 5. Terminate penaldo ๐Ÿค‘ 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal ๐Ÿ“

These came down deep from my heart. Donโ€™t let me down again, please.

Adele

Why doesn't Adele swim properly?

Because she's rolling in the deep. ๐Ÿคฝโ€โ™‚๏ธ

Wood

"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."

"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"

Headphone

A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.

"My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"

And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.

"WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"

And so he did.

Swimming

Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.

Mob

Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?

A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.

Booty

Why did the booty go to therapy?

It had some DEEP-SEATED issues.

Porn

My mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. I didn't know what she was doing but she grabbed my cock and started sucking. Then I found out on porn she was doing deep throat.

A couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, I thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. I cried for 5 hours. Luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.