When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep.
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
What do the mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.
Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.
My heart says to stop because it hurts.
Bro, chill. It's really not that deep.
So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?
Yo mama so stupid, when I said, "Go deep," she dug a hole in the field.
My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."
"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
Because they cut deep.
What do you call an emo that cuts too deep? Gushers.
How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝
These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.
A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.
"My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"
And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.
"WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"
And so he did.
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit
Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.
Why did the booty go to therapy?
It had some DEEP-SEATED issues.
My mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. I didn't know what she was doing but she grabbed my cock and started sucking. Then I found out on porn she was doing deep throat.
A couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, I thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. I cried for 5 hours. Luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.
