Death jokes
How do you get my neighbor out of their tree?
You untie the rope.
What's the difference between a Ferrari and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
The granddaughter wanted to see granny. She killed herself.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.
Stephen Hawking died because his WiFi ran out.
If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.
Double!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Triple!
Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
A man asks to play kick the bucket (not death).
The other man agrees. They go to the top of Mt. Everest. The man who asked ties the bucket to the other one's foot. Then he kicks it off the cliff, which brings the man with it. LOL
THE END
Is Stephen Hawking a physicist now?
No, because he is dead.
A man walked into a fleshlight and died.
The reason he died is that they accidentally flipped the wrong light switch.
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.
"Sing in music lesson"
"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.