Deaf jokes

What is the best game for a deaf person?

Charades.

A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex.

The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."

The husband says, "OK, if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."

I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.

Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?

So you can read her lips.

What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?

Helen Killer.

I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.

How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.

What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?

Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.

What is a deaf person's favorite game?

Charades.

Dear Hearing People,

We, deaf people, ain’t dead. We can use our hands to talk, eat & fist your face to give you some 💡 awareness that we can understand you 💯 meanwhile we laugh at you 🤡 We can even dance via vibration through music.

Do you know the song w lyric like this 👇 *white b.... accent: Ohhh.. MY God BECKY.. L👀k at her butt. IT is SO BIG. *BIG BEAT DROP* I...LIKE...BIG...BUTT...I cannot LIE 👻 I promise we ain’t ghosting around - Brittany Rose.

When a deaf person is on trial, is it really considered a hearing?

Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?

He got hearing aids.

How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.

How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.

How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.

How to kick a deaf person off the plane:

Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.

Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.

Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.

When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?

I just came up with a really good deaf people joke! The great thing is that they won't be able to hear it!

I'm deaf. My deaf ex-wife cheated on me with a guy who I met on a deaf social trip who was also deaf. I guess I didn't see the signs at the time.

What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.

What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.

Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they're all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there's no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”