Deaf jokes
"Say what you want about the deaf."
When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?
This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.
The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.
The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”
The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”
What is a deaf person's favorite game?
Charades.
What is the best game for a deaf person?
Charades.
This is two heads.
Deaf. "Deep water." ""
- "78 years."
Are you interested again? ""
"If you go ... you are there."
"No. 85 is good."
What is the most important value? It does not take cheese.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...
It was wrong on so many levels.
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?
He got hearing aids.
What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...
A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex.
The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."
The husband says, "OK, if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."
I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf.
So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.
I told my mother that my new girlfriend is disabled. Now we wait.
How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.
How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.
How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.
Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.
What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.