Deaf jokes

What did the blind deaf orphan child get for Christmas?

cancer.

What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?

AIDS.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

Helen Keller deaf-initely faked it!

When deaf people see someone yawning, do they think they're screaming?

I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.

Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite game as a kid?

A: Musical chairs.

Why did Helen Keller's cat run away? I would run away if my name was jufhvfhvurhkso.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.

Hellen Keller once said, "love is not something you see or hear, it is something you feel," but of course she said it like this "fbfebsovbforbw urbwbwvorb."

Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.

But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.

What do you call a deaf animal?

Anything, it can't hear you.

What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...

This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.

The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.

The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”

The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”

What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?

They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.

Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"

If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.

If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.

Hear the one about the deaf kid?

He didn't.

If you're born deaf, what language would you think in?

Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?

A: Hearing Aids.