Deaf jokes

Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"

Did you hear the one about the deaf person?

Me: No.

That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.

Have you ever walked into Helen Keller’s house?

She has.

When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.

Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.

Helen Keller was a pilot in 9/11.

I saw two deaf people talking shit about me in sign language.

So I turned off the lights.

What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?

Just switch off the lights.

What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?

NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!

What's a deaf kid's favorite words?

"Shut up."

Helen Keller is so Helen Keller-y that nobody will be as good as Helen Keller.

What do you call a deaf person?

Whatever you want!

What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.

So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...

I was speaking to a deaf Asian man. I said, "Hi." He said, "Wha yiu sa?"

Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.

What's a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid?

They both can't hear their parents.

Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.

A disabled man stands up.

A blind man says, "You can stand?"

A deaf man says, "You can see?"

A mute person says, "You can hear?"

The disabled man says, "You can talk!"

Doctor: "What the actual f**k"

A father awaits the birth of his first child.

The obstetrician says, "Unfortunately, he has no arms."

The father says, "I'll love it all the same."

But the obstetrician adds, "It is also without legs, trunk, head."

The father says, "I'll love it all the same."

Then the obstetrician confessed to him, "I'm sorry, but only this ear was born."

The father says, "I'll love it all the same."

And the obstetrician says, "Talk to him closer: he's deaf!"