Dead jokes

Ukraine be like dead children...

RUSSIA BE LIKE DEAD GENERALS!

You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.

The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.

My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!

My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.

You know what should give up and stay dead?

Fortnite.

Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.

David: I will surpass Kakarot!

Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*

Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.

I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...

I was in my guitar class and my strings were dead, and then I realized they were more dead than George Bush on November 30, 2018.

When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.

Where is a place where people die?

Rosshall Academy.

I'm dead inside.

Boy: I'm dead.

Girl: Is that why you're so ugly?

Boy: No, I was just born this way.

Hahahahahahhah my nan died :)

Stephen's not dead; his WiFi is slow.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not your dad.

What do you call a dead polar bear?

Anything, they can't hear you!

What’s the difference between 9/11 and a dead cow?

You can’t milk a dead cow for 20 years.