Dead jokes
Two men were on a hike through a forest when one of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake.
The other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened. The doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom, so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, "Have you got the cure?"
Hiker number two just said, "Nah mate, you're dead."
I gave a deaf kid AirPods.
Emo chick: "I wish I could feel dead inside!"
The kid named Dead: "😄😄😄"
A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.
Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.
Follow me.
I heard a noise, so I'm dead.
I dumped the dead, disabled person's body into a dumpster full of rats.
Why did Jesus come back from the dead? He forgot to tell you that you're gay!
Roses are red,
I am dead.
You could call me wet, or I will keep your dread.
Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.
Obi-Wan be like:
"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"
"My parents are dead, lol," said the orphan.
Did you hear about the dead Italian chef?
He pasta way!
You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.
Ukraine be like dead children...
RUSSIA BE LIKE DEAD GENERALS!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.
My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*
Uranus caught a 3-meter flatty while surfing. Check the tail still kicking. Deadly, my bruz!