Dead jokes
Q: What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
A: A Lamborghini isn't a very fun hobby.
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
Dogs say woof.
Cows say moo.
Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.
Stephen Hawking is not dead; he just needs to charge.
Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"
Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."
Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.
I am a dead baby. -end joke-
It was raining sadly all day. My wife, my two daughters, and me were stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died.
Wife: 😭😭😭I wish this never happened.
Mia, our first daughter: Mommy, it’s ok. I love whenever I see you🥰🥰
Abby, our second daughter: I love you all. Only if you guys die I won’t, but I love you when you're alive 😉😏
Me, husband: What kind of nonsense was that? You love us when we’re alive, but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓
Everyone except Abby: Abby, this is serious. Mommy’s mother and father died. Mia says: Yes, your mom is sadly down right now, you made her more sad😡🤬. Dad says: *sniffs* Abby, I had made a discussion. I will take you to an orphanage. I am sorry 😣 when I am better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back. Mom says:
This was not a joke. I just did this for Love 💕
Become an anti-furry for free KFC and dead orphans in your basement.
What do you call a snail without a shell?
Dead.
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
You're dumb, but that's not what she said.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
What do the films The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
What do you get when you kill a brown chicken and brown cow?
Dead chicken and dead cow.
What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?
Stopping it with a pitchfork.
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
Where did Sally go when she went in the minefield?
Everywhere.