Dead jokes
With what do you stuff a dead parrot? His.
Gwen, are you dead????? If not, I am Alya. Thanks for always standing up for me!!!!!!!!!!!
Why can’t Helen Keller drive? She’s dead.
My sister: See you at home in about an hour.
Me: Okay.
My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*
Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?
Sister: OMG, she's dead!
Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?
What did Superman say to Batman?
Nothing, Bruce is dead.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
'Cause it got knocked down on its way.
What's the difference between a club and a bar?
I can only get dead hookers from the club alleyways.
I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.
I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.
What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.
What is round and squishy? A dead baby's head.
What do you tell a dead metal fan?
Rust in peace.
I can't sleep, that's because you're dead.
What's the grossest thing ever?
A bag of dead babies.
What's even more gross?
The bottom one is still wriggling!
I fucked a Pokemon the other day. It is dead now.
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
A person walks into the bar and said, "Hey barman, get my son a drink and tell him his dad is dead."
Who said that?
I took 7 coins from someone. He even came back from the dead to get them.
What do you call a dancing cow that dies while dancing?
Dead mooves.
How do you know your baby is dead?
It stopped screaming after not feeding the bastard for a month.
Hitler is amazing; he's dead but still alive because he did Nazi death coming. It never happened.