Dead jokes
X: Morning, sunshine!
Y: Oh, yeah. 30 minutes more.
After I am dead during my funeral service, I want someone to play my favorite song by Boy George and Culture Club, "Church of the Poison Mind."
What's the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
Q: How do you make a fire?
A: Oil and dead babies.
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
Emo chick: "I wish I could feel dead inside!"
The kid named Dead: "😄😄😄"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
Q. Which game does necro like the most?
Into the dead part 1.
You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
Did you hear about the dead Italian chef?
He pasta way!
Ukraine be like dead children...
RUSSIA BE LIKE DEAD GENERALS!
Obi-Wan be like:
"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"
I gave a deaf kid AirPods.
Roses are red,
I am dead.
You could call me wet, or I will keep your dread.
Follow me.
I heard a noise, so I'm dead.
Why did Jesus come back from the dead? He forgot to tell you that you're gay!
I dumped the dead, disabled person's body into a dumpster full of rats.