Dead jokes
What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?
Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.
The emo kid wanted a high five. I left him hanging, so did the tree.
Teacher: What do you want when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.
He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
Memes
I FAMOUS NOW GUYS
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
Yo mama's so stinky that whenever she walks into a building, the flies drop dead!
Gvido gubis.
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead!
What's black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white...? A dead nun rolling down a hill.
Anonymous 1: Why are you crying?
Anonymous 2: No, buddy, come to my finral.
I didn't steal it. 🌚
X: Morning, sunshine!
Y: Oh, yeah. 30 minutes more.
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
After I am dead during my funeral service, I want someone to play my favorite song by Boy George and Culture Club, "Church of the Poison Mind."
Q: How do you make a fire?
A: Oil and dead babies.
What's the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
I gave a deaf kid AirPods.