Dead jokes
Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.
Boy: I'm dead.
Girl: Is that why you're so ugly?
Boy: No, I was just born this way.
What do you call a dancing cow that dies while dancing? Dead mooves.
Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?
Because she's dead.
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
Why could dinosaurs not talk? Because they were dead.
What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a train!
Q: Why did the Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the first Koala.
Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.
BRAKING NEWS!
Little Johnny's dead!
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?
Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.
"Boiled ham" is what you call a dead Russian.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.
I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.
What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!
What's the square root of your dead?
9/11.
What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?
His arse.
I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!