Dead jokes

Twin Tower jokes are funny because they are dead.

You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.

Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.

Genie: Your wish is granted.

Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.

I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.

As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?

I was gonna tell a joke about a dead fetus, but I decided to abort it.

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?

I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.

(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever because it is obscene or offensive; it’s just a bad joke.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they’re dead.

What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?

Survival Guilt.

Karma is like rape.

What goes around comes around, like a dead rape victim in a whirlpool.

If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.

Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.

What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!

What do you call an orphan's parents?

Dead meat.

Hey, how ya doin'?

Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.

Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.

Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.

I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.

Jesus, that's sick.

God = what I hope to be.

Devil = what I can't accept.

I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.

Why can't Kobe go shopping?

He's dead.

I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.