Dead jokes
What do you get when you kill a brown chicken and brown cow?
Dead chicken and dead cow.
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and a watermelon?
The watermelon didn't scream when I sliced it.
Friend 1: Did you?
Depressed friend 2: I didn't!
Friend one: Swear on your life!
Depressed friend 2: I swear.
A week later friend 2 dropped dead to their utter delight.
My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.
Roses are dead, violets smell like poo, I got a big fucking shotgun, what you gonna do?
How do skeletons make love?
They bone each other!
Lol.
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.
Jokes are like your grandparents, old and dead.
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
"My parents are dead, lol," said the orphan.
The bear rug on Chuck Norris's floor isn't dead, it's just afraid to move.
I got a heart pain then I went to [the] hospital. When the doctor says I am dead, but I run then I jump. I am not dead!
I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!
A boy sat in his bed, watching a meteor shower. He was a vengeful child and wished that his parents would no longer bother him whilst he was gaming.
The next morning, he woke up to find his mother had passed away in the night. Clearly his wish had worked. However, his father worked a midnight job, and as such the boy was very confused when he returned home from work, expecting him to have met the same fate.
The two of them then looked out the window in thought, only to find the milkman lying dead on the pavement.
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
What do you call a dead hooker?
It doesn't matter, she won't answer you.