Dead Jokes

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Hey~ How ya doin'?~ Well I'm doin' just fine~ I lied~ I'm DEAD inside~ Don't~ Tell me 'it's gonna be alright'~ I've tried, but I can't fight like this~ Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight~

What's the difference between three dead babies and a ferrari

I don't own a ferrari

Man: Doctor where are you taking me Doctor: to the morgue Man: but I’m not dead yet Doctor: are we there yet

Karma is like rape. What goes around comes around, like a dead rape victim in a whirlpool.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Steven hawkings not dead he is just in airplane mode

I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.

Jesus, that's sick.

What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of you mouth, while the other one doesn't!

God=what I hope to be Devil=what I can't accept

I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

what do call an ophans parents dead meat

why cant kobe go shopping?..... hes dead

How do you try to shout at someone On the Bottom of the ground?

"Hey Sir! Are you dead?'

What ́s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town. He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.” The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili. The sight was shocking and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”