Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.
Dead Jokes
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever because it is obscene or offensive; it’s just a bad joke.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they’re dead.
I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!
Why can't Kobe go shopping?
He's dead.
I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.
Jesus, that's sick.
God = what I hope to be.
Devil = what I can't accept.
I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.
What do you call an orphan's parents?
Dead meat.
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
Hey, how ya doin'?
Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.
Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.
Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.
What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?
"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
What do you do when your cat's dead?
Play with the neighbor's pussy instead.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
Karma is like rape.
What goes around comes around, like a dead rape victim in a whirlpool.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.
