Dead jokes
The bear rug on Chuck Norris's floor isn't dead, it's just afraid to move.
What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.
Roses are red,
romance is dead,
every day I suffer from existential dread.
I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.
The orphans all died!!!
Oh wait, no one cares...
Their parents are all dead anyway. We are just making them happier. They get to join their parents in hell.
Damn.
Heβs not dead, just his storage unit.
Lol.
How do you tell when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
Two men were on a hike through a forest when one of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake.
The other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened. The doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom, so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, "Have you got the cure?"
Hiker number two just said, "Nah mate, you're dead."
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of dead babies.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and an orange?
The orange tastes good.
Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?
Because dead babies make the best chum! :)
Baby Shark be like, "It's the END," bruh, they dead.
I like my girlfriends like my children: dead.
What do you call an Indian person who is not starving? Dead.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.
What is the difference between onions and my dead grandma?
I cried when I cut up the onions.
"Russian" twists into a ditch, dead!
A dead Russian is Trump's accountant.