Dead jokes
What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?
There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
You're dumb, but that's not what she said.
What do you call a sick Asian?
A calculator with dead batteries.
The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.
I just wanted to write something random.
And now my wife is dead.
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead!
What do you call an orphan with parents?
Idk, I never met one before.
Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were. He said, "I don’t have any." I said, "Wonder why."
Another bonus joke: Me: Hey. Orphan: Hey. Me: What do you do for fun? Orphan: Look for my parents. Me: Me, so they're not dead? Orphan: No, they just abandoned me.
More bonus: What do you call a homeless kid?
An orphan.
Last bonus: Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home?
Because they can’t find one.
lmao this is so funny, dark humor can be funny. Sorry, orphans!
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.
Is Stephen Hawking a physicist now? No, because he is dead.
Why can't ghosts stay happy? Because they are too skeletal.
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
What's worse than 2 dead babies in a trash bin? Two babies in one trash bin.
What do you call a strong, independent girl in Haryana?
Dead.
"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.
A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.
“Super Power Beer,” he says.
“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”
Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage whatsoever. He walks back into the bar.
“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof — and falls 15 stories to the ground.
Splat.
The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.