Dead jokes
Why can’t Helen Keller drive? She’s dead.
The emo kid wanted a high five. I left him hanging, so did the tree.
What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?
I don't know, I have both!
They named a road after George Floyd. It was a dead end, though.
Teacher: What do you want when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
Why can't you kill a depressed person?
Because they are already dead inside.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?
Nothing because he's dead.
Dad: Alive.
Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).
Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.
Mother: Alive...
Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.
Hello people, my name is Osama.
I'm back from the dead and I want to blow you.
Why can't ghosts stay happy? Because they are too skeletal.
Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.
Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)
Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.
Roses are red, My heart, my heart is dead. I have a gun straight to my head.
Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.
Genie: Your wish is granted.
Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!
What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan?
The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
Grandma: Young people your age are married by now, why aren’t you?
Me: Old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?
Gwen, are you dead????? If not, I am Alya. Thanks for always standing up for me!!!!!!!!!!!
What goes pop pop sizzle sizzle?
Two dead babies in an acid bath.