Date jokes
I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"
What do you call a person who tries to get you on a dating website... a Brodie.
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"
What’s the difference between a loser and a paper?
A girl actually dates the paper.
Their family portrait is also a dating app.
Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.
Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
The only problem being short and gay is that whenever I try to tell people I'm top in my relationship, they don't believe me because I'm shorter than the person I'm dating, like, WTF?
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
Your mom was dating a boy that had a twin brother, but she did it with the wrong one.
Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
Boy/girl: I love you.
Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.
The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*
Hello, I'm Ariana. I'm looking for someone. Anyone wanna date me?
Ariana
Today I was asked to go out by 20 girls. -- I was in the women's bathroom.
Why were 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9. Then why was 10 afraid? Because it was between 9/11.
What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43? Floor 44 💀💀
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.
If 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9, why is 10 scared?
(10 is in between 9/11)
Why was 10 scared?
Because he was in-between 9-11.
Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?
The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.