Date

Date Jokes

Orphan

I dated an orphan and then later married him for 7 years until he told me he was an orphan.

Russia

I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...

Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.

Cannibal

How do you know when you are dating a cannibal?

You go to the beach, he offers to put suntan oil on you, and the brand name is Wesson.

You are having sex and he says he wants to eat your a$$ and you notice he is holding a knife and fork.

He invites you to his home to use the hot tub and it is heated by a wood fire.

You are having an argument and you say "bite me" and he starts to sharpen his teeth.

Knife

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

Woman

Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...

Problem

I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.

Lesbian

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

Boyfriend

EVERYONE:

"My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?"

Twin

Why are the Twin Towers actually twins?

Their birth and death date are the same.

Name

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

Emo girl

Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.

Girl

A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."

Orphan

I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.