Date jokes
What did one candle say to the other?
"Want to go out tonight?"
Would you rather date me or a lady?
I laid deez nuts in your mouth.
I ordered my sandwich at a restaurant on 9/11 spicy, it came out plain.
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
What do you call an emo dating another emo?
The suicide duo.
A girl is meeting this Muslim for a date, and she asks him, "So are you Indian?"
And the Muslim goes, "No, bitch, I ain't 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11!"
You know how 7 ate 9? Why was 10 scared? It's because he was in the middle of 9/11. 🤣
Why is it better to date an orphan?
Their parents are never home.
Yo mamma so poor that when we went on a date, she took off her shoe laces and said "spaghetti."
Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.
Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.
If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7-8-9, then why was 10 afraid?
'Cause it was right in the middle of 9/11.
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!
Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!
Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."
I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"
What do you call 2 Indians on a dating website? Connect the dots.
When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible!
I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my date 😡!
If 7, 8, 9, why was 10 afraid?
It was between 9/11.
I dated an orphan and then later married him for 7 years until he told me he was an orphan.