Date jokes
A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."
I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"
What do you call 2 Indians on a dating website? Connect the dots.
When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible!
I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my date 😡!
If 7, 8, 9, why was 10 afraid?
It was between 9/11.
I dated an orphan and then later married him for 7 years until he told me he was an orphan.
Why did 10 have trauma?
Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.
I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...
Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.
How do you know when you are dating a cannibal?
You go to the beach, he offers to put suntan oil on you, and the brand name is Wesson.
You are having sex and he says he wants to eat your a$$ and you notice he is holding a knife and fork.
He invites you to his home to use the hot tub and it is heated by a wood fire.
You are having an argument and you say "bite me" and he starts to sharpen his teeth.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
I could never date a midget.
We would never see eye to eye.
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
EVERYONE:
"My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?"
Why are the Twin Towers actually twins?
Their birth and death date are the same.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.
My girlfriend was born on February 29th, so does that mean she is 2 years old?
What does a lesbian bring on the second date?
A U-Haul.