Date jokes
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
EVERYONE:
"My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?"
Why are the Twin Towers actually twins?
Their birth and death date are the same.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.
My girlfriend was born on February 29th, so does that mean she is 2 years old?
What does a lesbian bring on the second date?
A U-Haul.
I hate when my brother dates other people.
Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵
A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."
Why can’t orphans date?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.
I like my dates like I like my wine...
Locked in a cellar and aged for 12 years.
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
Boy/girl: I love you.
Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.
The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.
What is Armin Meiwes' ideal date? Dinner.
A woman went out on a date and said, “I’m thirty-one with the body of a sixteen-year-old.” The man responded, “Wanna show me? 😏” The woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “Take a look.”
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*