Darkness jokes
Yesterday, I tickled my granddaughter's feet.
She is being born in 2 months.
A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot, & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite.
And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to wait for orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine," The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked, "Now what?"
My friend asked for something dark and creamy. I said..... "GU KHA".
What did one candle say to the other?
"Want to go out tonight?"
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his carer lost his charger.
Yo mama is so black that she has her own solar system.
"The legend says Tinker Bell was good in jerkin' off Peter with her tiny fingers, but it pains me to think that Captain Hook was a closeted-sadist boyfriend."
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
It’s the police, ma’am, your son got hit by a drunken driver. He’s dead.
How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.
You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!
A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.
Dark humor is like sex: not everybody gets it.
God's racist. He separated light from dark.
My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."
Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"
Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.
Son: Really?
Also 2 hours later:
Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.
Mom: Son, I-
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.