Darkness jokes
What does food and dark humour have in common?
Not everybody gets it.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Well, neither did she!
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me.
The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment.
With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
Is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?
What's the darkest point in the universe?
The inside of a KFC.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
I don’t have a joke but a poem about a sex/dark joke.
Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, I can make you scream!
Rules of Dark humor:
1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.
2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.
3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that.
I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.
- Sincerely, Zane
So, I was f**king my daughter the other night, and I don’t know what was funnier: the looks on my wife’s face when she walked in on me or the fact that the abortion clinic let me keep her.
*bowl of dark grapes*
Friend 1: I like my grapes how I like my men.
Friend 2: Black? Good one.
Friend 1: 21 at a time.
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."
Person 2: "Probably Bullets."
Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"
Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."
Person 1: "...."
Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."
What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
What's worse than finding 10 babies in 10 dumpsters?
Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
Sans: I like eating ketchup, don't believe me? It's ASRIEL as it gets!
UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!!
Ink sans: umm lust? That's INKAPPROPRIATE!
Fell sans: I hate these double standards...if you burn a body at a crematorium you're doing "a good job," do it at home and your "destroying evidence."
Error sans: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.
What’s the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?
They never get old.
Katie Price's answer for everything is darkness.
She isn't a dull person, but playing eye spy with my little eye with Harvey is just way too easy.
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Dark, rich, and imported.
This is funny.
Woman one: "I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell!"
Woman two: "Did that work?"
Woman one: "Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house."