Darkness jokes
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.
Spongebob is yellow, and he can't drive.
Must be Asian.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"
Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.
Why did the man walk into a bar?
Because he just broke up and he needs alcohol, you dummy!
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.
Why did the chicken enter the cave?
Because it wanted to get to the Dark Side.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.
Helen Keller fell down a well. She screamed and screamed until she was blue in the hands.
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?"
God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde, and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard, and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.
The old lady thinks, "I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde, and she struck the pervert."
The blonde thinks, "I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me, and she slapped him."
The Frenchman thinks, "I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark, and she slapped me by mistake."
The Englishman thinks, "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again."
All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.