Dark Humor
These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike.
I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
Q: Do you know why black people have nightmares?
A: Because we shot the last one who had a dream.
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.
But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?
⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️
What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat
What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?
Orange because they're having a they/them baby.
What is an Iraqi kid's favorite game?
Minesweeper.
I had to write an essay about Africa, and I failed because I plagiarized the Hunger Games script.
Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?
A: The size of balls they play with.
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
Q: Why is Hitler better than Biden?
A: Because Hitler gave gas to his people for free.
I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
Bligitty blot, bliggity blit,
You better not be talkin' shit. 🔫
Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.
She won't talk to me anymore.