Dais Jokes

Little boy: Momma Mom: Yes my dear Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's Mom: Why!? Little boy: Just to see if there ice cream machine is actually broken

The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation

Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year

They have no mother or fathers day

If you wanna get fat what's the quickest way to do it? Eat two jars of mayo each day and in about a month your scale will have your phone number!

Quote of the day-

A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.

Chao!!!

this ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap and in a few days he saw her again and he went up to her and said hey you gave me the clap and she said NO I DID NOT I sold it to ya

What a day yesterday was I got a promotion and my sisters killer was hit by a bus now I’m in a cast!

Why are there only 363 days on an orphan's calendar They don't have fathers day and mother's day

Hello everyone how is your day today?

Guy: Hi, how was your day today. Woman: Good! Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant* Guy: How many months pregnant are you? Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also I’m not pregnant.

Today was the worst day ever. My Ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side my truck doesn't even have a dent.

There’s 365 days in a year orfans have 363 because they don’t have a mother’s or Father’s Day

My uncle got really badly burned the other day. They don't fuck around at the crematorium.

Hi oooo was the day I was a kid I was going home to school today after dinner 🍽

what is sharks favourite day chewsday

What day should you drink water? Thursday, Thirstday

Yo mama so fat that she was the float in the Thanksgiving Day Parade with Kermit the Frog

Attention- Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? Its strang because they havent said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess) Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD I just thought further into life with their relationship DON'T DO THAT. Agent Chipmunk Out

Daughter: So, I got my period. Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying! Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying? Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to the another day. Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically) Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless. Obviously.)