Dais Jokes

Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?

I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...

Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day. Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life.

The other day my wife told me to pass her her lipstick, but I accidently passed her a glue stick...she still isn't talking to me

this place is gonna boom in a few days, just like the towers

I got written up on 'Take Your Daughter To Work Day.' Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.

Nothing lasts long these days! As Confucius says - Hare today, gone tomorrow!

What is 14 inches long and starts with D

A Dookie From GREEN DAY

if the average male walks 1.7 miles a day then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk

what month has 28 days

all of them

"I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."

Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing!!! Tomorrow I am going to six flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR day!!!!!! Woohooo!!!!

bro this guys hairline I saw the other day was no were to be seen

My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sisters knickers the other day, it wouldn’t of been so bad but she’s was wearing them at the time, it made the rest of the funeral so awkward

Why did the snowman say Good day to the sun? Because it was afraid to melt away by the sun

why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? because they had no one to pick them up. what's a orphans best friend? a boomarange because it's the only thing that ever came back.