Dad

Dad Jokes

Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!

Good on ya dad ya definitely got the last laugh!

This midget in my school has two moms I said did ur dad go get the milk he told me to shut up I said I don’t shut up I grow up like u should

Someone walks up to his dad and says Dad what’s the difference between potentiality and reality soo ok the dad says to the son go ask your mother sister and your brother if they’d sleep with the postman for a $1,000,000 so the son comes back 5 minutes later and said dad they all said they would sleep with the postman so son petentilay we have a million dollars but in reality we have two slits and a gay one

So here’s this funny story and it’s true. So my mom has this friend when this guy was a kid he was on the school bus and this Mexican kid checked him into the isle so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox and he started bleeding then they both get banned from the bus for a few days so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”

My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.

My family is lucky I was born so smart, every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.

Dads secretary left her position, he tole me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.

Your dad left you bc he went for milk*1000,000 years later* her*dad come back *him*FBI open up