Dad

Dad jokes

Kid

  • Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.

    Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.

    Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

  • 1
  • Milk

  • My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.

  • 4
  • Parent

  • Why did your parents abandon you?

    Because the first thing you dad said to be was; "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WIFE."

    Brain

  • You tell your dad what one plus one is and he says five. You forgot that your dad's brain is on the floor.

    Orphan

  • Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?

    Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.

    Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?

    Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.

    Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  • 1
  • Day

  • One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.