my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says “Your mother, of course.” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says “You’re so so sexy!”
What's the difference between you and your sister?
Your dad.
Girl Dad where are you Dad I went to go get. Milk Girl but we have milk Dad I know I just don't love you
dad- HONEY
mom- what
dad- all of the broken condums are on the bed
mom- WHAT!?
children- *staring*
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
whats the same with ur dad and retail row
they are both off the map
Me and my friend roasting each other, Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose but my dad dropped me by accident. Me: But after dropping you he never picked you up
I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer
Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass
Little Johnny walks out to the garage, and sees Dad smoking a cigarette... He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette??" Dad asks, "Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment... He then replies, "Well, No Dad, my dick can't reach my ass"... His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house...
About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage, and sees his Dad drinking a beer... He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer??" Dad asks, "Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment... He then replies, "Well, No Dad, my dick can't reach my ass"... His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house...
About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a BIG plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven... His Dad says, "WOW Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies... You think I can have some??" Little Johnny asks his Dad, "Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass??" His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment... He then replies, "Well, Yes Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass"... Little Johnny says, "Well Dad, you can go FUKC yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!"...
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water? Hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
I asked my dad what his previous job was he said : I was a post until I met your mother
Little boy asked his dad why was he was born black. Father replied, so the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin. Then he asks why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire. So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you. Then what are we doing living in Rochdale. (England)
what do you call a group of kangaroos gangaroos
what do you get when you cross a pig with cactus? a porkupine
i was going to make alligator last night but i noticed i only had a croc pot
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
Q:Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean
A:to find his dad
This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣
one day little Johnny came home with his girlfriend and told his dad "were gonna go to my room and do some homework" and his dad said ok 5 minutes later little Johnny's dad heard noises coming from his room so he went to go see what it was and all he heard was "baby baby oh baby baby oh" little Johnny's dad started banging on the door and said "little Johnny what are you doing in there" then little Johnny said "dad were just having sex" then little Johnny's dad said " oh i thought you were listing to some Justin bibber up in here
