You're adopted, that's why your mom or dad never came back with the milk!
Dad Jokes
Why can’t orphans play catch?
They never had a dad to teach them.
Why do orphans only drink water in cereal?
'Cause Dad never brought home the milk...
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
Little Johnny walked in on his mom in the shower and said, "What's that on your chest, Mom?" Mom said, "Those are my headlights." Johnny: "Oh. What's that in between your legs, Mom?" Mom: "Oh, that's my bush." Johnny: "Oh, OK." Next, he walked in on his dad in the shower. He said, "Dad, what's that in between your legs?" Dad: "Oh, that's my snake." Johnny: "Oh, OK." That night, little Johnny walks in on his parents going at it and said, "Mom, turn on his headlights, there's a snake going in your bush!"
Why do orphans have gross cakes?
Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.
Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
Why can't an orphan have milk?
His dad didn't come back with the milk.
Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!
The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.
POV: Orphans rule the world.
God said, "I'm your dad," then kills himself.
The orphan: Waaaaaa!
Why did the Dad cross the road?
To get the milk.
The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back.
Why can’t orphans eat at a family restaurant? Because they don’t have a mom or dad.
I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...
Me:...
Dad: What did you learn in school today?
Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.
So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."
"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."
Me:.....
A dad told his son never to hit girls, so the son replied, "I promise."
When the son got older, he was doing the dirty with "a girl," and the girl says, "Spank me, daddy..." and the son responds, "My dad said never to hit a girl."
Then the "girl" takes off the wig, and it's his dad, and the dad said, "Good job, son!"
Son:...... um
