New Dad Jokes - Page 19 - Worst Jokes Ever

Jo dad's so stupid he came back with the milk

Why a Muslim girl don't like her dad and namaz. Bcz she has to get on her knees

Why did you parents abandon you? Because the first thing you dad said to be was; GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WIFE.

9/11 was not funny it was plane wrong because my dad was the best fucking pilot in Jeddah

You tell your dad what one+one and he sad five you forgot that your dad brain is on the floor

have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk

cause there dad never came back with it

Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday? Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day. Teacher: Why is that your least favorite? Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive. Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

one day i seen a little boy walking in the grocery store so i asked if he was ok and he said yes i asked where his parents were and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk isle

Little Johnnys neighbour just had a baby he got invited to dinner with his neighbour little Johnnys dad said if. he mentioned ears he will get a spank so Johnny looked in the basonet they were talking about the new baby Johnnys mum said what beautiful eyes that is great said little Johnny. because he will be stuffed if he needed glasses

Do one day i was sitting on my couch watching youtube when i heard a knock on the door. i opened the door and to my surprise it was my dad. i haven't seen him in 16 years, so i let him in. i noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge. then he walked towards me and said "Oh no! i forgot the cereal!" then he walked out the door and drove away. i never saw him again

What do you call a dad without a dad joke, Dead.

My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't

Luca’s Mom & Dad Be throwing the kids into the Fountain in the city but there sea monster so if the went to jail for that the would be on death row anyways. 🤣

My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing minecraft all night. Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believe that at the time. But now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't

why do orphin's have water with there ceral because the dad never came back with the milk

Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan* No one: Literally no one: Me:Time to make his life hell😈

dad: Johnny Johnny? Johnny: Yes papa dad:Getting women? Johnny:yes papa dad: Telling lies? Johnny:no papa dad:Well your 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " fucking, fuck,fuck,Fuck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad’s in the kitchen fucking the turkey.