Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!
Why did your father go away?
'Cause he needs da milk.
Why are grapes never alone?
Because they hang out in a bunch!
Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?
'Cause he was in need of a light snack!
Why didn't the orphan play video games with his friends?
Because his parents wouldn't let him.
Your hairline is so back it's not even a hairline cuz you're bald. LOL
Why do men get great ideas in bed?
'Cause they are plugged into a genius!
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
Q) Why did the uncle sleep with his own nephew?
A) Cuz the boy wouldn't stop talking about Donald Trump every single weekend.
Don't say you want to eat out a five-year-old's pussy, because I have already shoved a glass dildo in her tight ass pussy, UwU.
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Cuz their dead.
why cant orphans play base ball cuz they cant run home
Yo momma so fat that people jumped on her cuz they thought she was a school bus.
You do orphans love doing crime?
Cuz they want to be wanted
Why is it wrong to put a beef or turkey patty in a burger?
'Cause it's a ham-burger, isn't it?
Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.
Why can’t moons walk?
'Cuz they have no legs, stupid!
Why are orphans gay cuz they can’t come out to any one
Why do planets circle the sun?
'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.
Friend 1: I HATE YOU!
Friend 2: *cries* b-but i-i didn't s-say that!!
Friend 3: *writes on paper with pencil cuz is so bored*
Me: *points at pencil lead* NOW NOW NOW THIS HAS *LEAD* TO SOME SERIOUS FRIENDSHIP LOSS! Plz shut up.
All my friends: *groan at horrible pun*
