Cuz jokes
Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.
Why are grapes never alone?
Because they hang out in a bunch!
Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?
'Cause he was in need of a light snack!
Why do orphans come to me?
'Cause they have someone to call "father."
Are you from Tennessee, because I eat ass.
Q) Why did the uncle sleep with his own nephew?
A) Cuz the boy wouldn't stop talking about Donald Trump every single weekend.
Don't say you want to eat out a five-year-old's pussy, because I have already shoved a glass dildo in her tight ass pussy, UwU.
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.
Yo momma so fat that people jumped on her cuz they thought she was a school bus.
Do orphans love doing crime?
'Cause they want to be wanted.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.
Why is it wrong to put a beef or turkey patty in a burger?
'Cause it's a ham-burger, isn't it?
Why can’t moons walk?
'Cuz they have no legs, stupid!
Why are orphans gay? Because they can’t come out to anyone.
Why do planets circle the sun?
'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.
Friend 1: I HATE YOU!
Friend 2: *cries* b-but i-i didn't s-say that!!
Friend 3: *writes on paper with pencil cuz is so bored*
Me: *points at pencil lead* NOW NOW NOW THIS HAS *LEAD* TO SOME SERIOUS FRIENDSHIP LOSS! Plz shut up.
All my friends: *groan at horrible pun*
Who’s the hottest girl in the world?
Babe Ruth cuz she catches the sun.