Are you corona? Cuz it’s hard to breathe around you ;)
Are you a toaster? 'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.
Are you a knife? 'Cause you make me wanna KMS.
Are you a painting? 'Cause I hang you.
Are you the flu? 'Cause you make me wanna hurl.
Are you a newspaper? 'Cause you have new problems every day.
Are you the ground? 'Cause I'm six feet deep in you ;)
Why was the baseball player stuck in the stadium?
'Cause he made his home run.
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
Why did the guy take a bath? Because he came, and it was too much of a mess.
Why do people think that monsters are scary? Cuz they are so stupid.
Why are your eyes blue? Cuz they have food coloring in them.
Why did the orphan not play baseball? Because he couldn't find home.
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
Why do dogs like skeletons?
Because they're boneheads.
Why do bunnies like Bruno Mars? Because he got 24 carrots.
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
Why are you so tired if you can’t see? Because you are blind.
Why are basements so scary? Cuz of the mail.
Why are Bengalis so fishy?
Because the fish ate them on a daily basis.
Hey, stinks, you know why? 'Cause your butts dry!
Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.
Is your body from McDonald's, because I'm loving it?
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.
Are u from tEnESeEE cuz I eAt AsES
